Funny quotes? Do you have more of these?;)?

twinkLe asked: Things that “Celebrities have said”
“The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone.” — Michael Jackson
“I hope my child will be a good Catholic like me.” - Madonna
“I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.” - Mick Jagger
“He speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual too.” — Don [...]

An oldie stupid question but I only expect stupid answers?

Buck asked: Where will the Cannes Film Festival be held this year? I want to get there early and get a good spot on the beach
I don’t want to watch any films, just the hundreds of naked ladies playing on the beach!!!